Alone Or Burnt

Hidden in the curves of a smile
Profound sadness lurks
Leftover salt from long dried tears
Scars from the adhesives of a taped up picture.

The girl with smile
Mostly she’s real
She smiles so pretty
And her eyes light so nicely

But sometimes shes so fake it hurts
Her smile is invaded by worms
And her eyes encompass mirror images of grave robbed dirt
And so her smile gets more cracks

Skin eroded by the tears and the tape
By her lies and by the fake
But she doesn’t lie to you
Or to me
She lies to herself
Pretends she’s her own family.

A solo soul
Alone for the journey
But she has no path
Just warts from the worry.

And its not that shes better
Nor that shes worse
She’s just different
In a plain separated from the rest

And when she is happy
Shes really so pretty
And when she is sad
The beauty is a pity

But she tries and she tries
To beat this affliction
To write when she’s happy
To write happy things
To sing nice songs
To say nice things
But at the end
Or the beginning

In the company of air
She sits and reminisces
Of a future she’s never had
Of a future she may never have

Tumults of rock
Clasps of dirt
Boxes strewn
Alone or burnt.

Hole.

I followed foot prints etched in stone
Through cracks in the road
Down, down….
I fell
And landed on something vaguely like Hell.
The dark
Shadows glow
Casting a look and claiming my sorrow
Up, Up
In flames.
I erupted in red and burning

Oh snow, come
Bring
Me
The peace of the cold and the numb of my home
Please,
Please, please
Save me
Oh save me
Please save me
Oh Save me

I
Brought you my tears
Collected in vials
Labeled for files
Here
Here, here
Take them
Please take them
Save them from waste
They’re a gift
For, for you
For you and this place
Oh please no
No waste

And you say
“O child,
You came the wrong way
Through the flames and the rain
I know you, you are
Riddled with pain
Lost in your brain
But the cracks are simply to small
For you to fall and be captured my dear

Go back on
And plant your trades
In beautiful shades
Oh colors
Are waiting
They’ll paint you
Beautiful.
Go
Go and sleep now
Wake
Wake up
Sober and dream anew
O Child”

I
Woke in the day.
With a new face
And sheets
Piled on top of me
I
Got
Away
But came back so suddenly
Through all the grain
And I
Smiled that day
And walked in the city
Oh
Ready
To play.

Rocks.

Watch the children wipe the sleep from their eyes
Watch their souls dance and writhe
Witness the life

Use my darkness as a vessel
Use me abuse me
Secluded
In peace
Lonely in light

Is it wrong to lay down
Should I fight?
Can I keep asking questions
And hope for the absolutions?

If I were on a cliff
Would you watch the rocks as they tumble
Or would you reach for the soft of my hand

Tickle my finger
Pull my hair
Kick, scream
I’ll let you drag me

In the dirt
Behind the cars
Ill let you ride your waves of sin
Ill let you crash into me
Let the waves win

Cant you hear my call
Feel the salt from my tears
Can you take this sadness away?
Can you come back…
Can I feel you again?

Make it/Fake it.

I AM not myself.
I am NOT myself.
But them who am I?
Scribbler of dreams?
Dance with the trees?
Maybe I'm just one big lie.
The clock turns red
I watch that instead.
And let my thoughts drift to the sky
Stare at your face with nothing to say
This time I'm sure I'm a lie.
Hair that I hate.
Paint I can't shake.
I'm tired of living this lie.
I Am not myself.
I am NOT myself.
Alone in my room...

Watch me cry.

I Ramble.

I've been doing this ridiculous thing
Where I try to rhyme everything I write
And I'll probably inadvertantly do it again
As I write with this purple pen.

And there it goes
The dubious trust
The ink doesn't splatter
The pages don't combust

I have a fixation
With framing words about words
Trying desperately to be a poet
Someone honest... to be heard.

But mostly I sit and slowly type away.
Wishing I could phrase
All the clever things I want to say.

And at the end of another ryhme
My hands starts to cramp
Something benign.

Sometimes In February

Hands that smell like glue
Jeans that linger with the smell of iron steam
Chipped nail polish and some scratchy ink.
I might be too tired to think.

There's a girl in the country
Who just sits and stares away
There's a boy in the city
Who catches bugs on walks in the day
There's children in the living room
Watching the colors turn to shapes
On a blank screen.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could be happy.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could just sing.
Wouldn't it be nice to get some sleep.

In a room without a view
The walls are yellow and holding true
The businesses, they run us
Up and down, inside out, through and through
The most free is when we leave and
Attack to get the things we feel we need.
But in the end we sit alone.
I don't want to think anymore.

There's a girl in the country
Who just sits and stares away
There's a boy in the city
Who catches bugs on walks in the day
There's children in the living room
Watching the colors turn to shapes
On a blank screen.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could be happy.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could just sing.
Wouldn't it be nice to get some sleep.

We've been distracted once or twice
Forgotten about life
Cried our tears
Dried our eyes
Said goodbye

But say hello to them for me
Wish the colors from the screen
Let the knots work themselves out
Lay down and scream.

I won't think
any
more.

Ears

The earth is moving
But I’m standing still
Light voices
Whisper in my ear
But I can’t hear

No I can’t hear.

I’m not myself
The acids in my throat
Shaking hands
I’m short of breath

Please just talk to me
You can say anything
And I won’t laugh
I won’t cry
I’ll just listen and smile for replies.

It’s like finding a needle
Waiting for the life to grow through the cracks
A part of me died that day
Will it ever come back?

Tear stained shirts and paper and pillows
The salt is chapping my skin
The tears, they always win.
There wasn’t even a battle to fight
Just a simple goodnight

Please just talk to me
You can say anything
And I won’t laugh
I won’t cry
I’ll just listen and smile for replies

I can’t say that I’ll ever be okay
But if you had to leave me
I’d rather it was this way.
A heart left to sleep
An infinity of peace.

So through the pain
I’ll keep singing
And I’ll keep breathing
I’ll keep waiting
Til the day that I won’t need to say
Please just talk to me again.